Dream for an Insomniac

floozys:

vagina’s are able to stretch wide enough to give birth to a fucking baby and then return to it’s original size but of course being penetrated by that grass blade you call a penis is what’s going to make it “loose”

go talk to ya other hoes

-a girl in love wit u (via kvmikaze)

(Source: joseguwop)

jesussbabymomma:

PEOPLE THAT CAN BE ON TUMBLR “ALL DAY” AND STILL HAVE ALL A’S ARE THE REASON MY SELF-ESTEEM DOES A BACKFLIP INTO A DOWNWARD SPIRAL

rlmjob:

bestlittle1:

rlmjob:

*puts on sexy underwear but accepts the fact that no one will see it*

But knowing daddy bought them is good enough for me.

image

snarg:

when ur sad always remember that u don’t look like you did in 6th grade

confidnet:

supersamurai91:

confidnet:

i wasted my last bagel my life is over

Just get some bread and cut out a circle

i have never been so offended in my entire life

phobias:

i wish the light from my laptop screen could give me a tan

georgehottieson:

when someone gets a lyric reference you made and then continues with the next line

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mightyflower:

to quote hamlet act III scene iii line 92, “no”

neyruto:

i sat behind this guy on a laptop in the school cafe and watched his completely straight face as he typed ROFL!!!!!!!! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!!! he didnt even blink

itseasytoremember:

whythefuckareyouromeo:


0ver-doze:

omg they are so offended if you lick them back. 

Fun fact! Dogs lick the mouths of those they consider higher in rank! So if you lick them back, they are not offended, they just don’t see themselves as higher than you and they are confused! The second dog must be a very loyal dog because he or she literally refuses to be licked back haha! I love dogs.

i started reading that expecting an angry rant and it turned out to be one of the nicest things ever.

if you’re reading this i hope something good happens to you today

(Source: majesty)